Saturday, February 05, 2011

on a little momma stuff...

Being a mother is so rewarding. I love moments like this one that I captured with my camera, where you swell in happiness. I never imagined such a small being would look so amazing in my eyes. 
It's been a little over two years since I had Sebastian and now I am finding myself wondering what I'm going to do without this little boy who randomly comes up to me, grabs my faces and plants a big smooth on my lips. Because surely he won't be doing that forever. When these thoughts enter my mind I can't help asking for more kisses or squeezing him extra tight in bed at night. Or even asking him to do his little funny jig when I sing a totally ridiculous song just so I can see him be super cute.
Here are some things that I've learned in the couple of years of being a momma...

One. The biggest thing I have learned is to stay calm. I am still working on this as we speak in every aspect of my life not just parenting. I can get a little stressed out or worked up with the hardships that parenting brings. It's something I catch myself doing and that's when it's best to just take a breath and center yourself. Some great advice that I got from my dad at first sounded totally annoying, and I actually remember myself kind of spacing out when he was talking in the phone. I know, what kind of daughter am I! Any who, he told me that when I find myself starting to get overwhelmed or even if I am about to say something to someone that I shouldn't (because my father knows I have a big mouth) to just count to ten slowly. That by the time you get to ten you are most likely not going to say what you were going to say or get overwhelmed because that counting will calm you down to the point were you will be able to think calmly and rationally. I refused to even accept this as being a thing that I would even consider doing because I thought no way it would work. But it does, I do it all the time! Some times the little things help you out. Find a way to center yourself. Anything. You'll be calm and in turn your kid will be happy. That's all we want, right? 
Ps. Thanks dad :) 

Two. Next would have to be make time for yourself. This is also big. Although it can be tough for some since it's hard to find babysitters. I know this because that is something that makes it hard for Bobby and I to get out more than we do. We went out last weekend after not going out since September. Just make it happen, whatever you have to do, although please don't hand your kid to the next person you see on the street! Of course you are a parent and you have this little bean that needs you but YOU need your sanity. I don't care what you people think and if you don't think the same you are already insane. Being a parent is hard work and this plays into being calm because you need to have your own time to wind down or do something you like, to achieve your maximum strength and sanity. Don't you agree? Having a child doesn't mean you throw your whole self away. I had a hard time understanding this for a while and finally came to terms with it in this new year. It took me a while but I finally realized that I do have goals in this life and I will make them happen even with having a kid. It is possible. Not only make time for both you and your loved one to get out together but also alone time with yourself. Go shopping, go to the gym, go to a coffee shop and read a book (i like this one) or just hang out with a friend. Do it. Now!

Three. Believe in yourself. By that I mean you're a parent so be the parent you want to be. When you're pregnant you hear all kinds of fearful stories about what parenthood is going to bring and sure some can be true: like when people say you won't sleep. But all the stories you hear are only a fraction of the truth. I think people feel like they need to scare you into this nervous mom-to-be so you can be prepared for what's to come but in reality you do get sleep. Maybe not as much as you got pre-parenthood when you had the option to sleep in until noon, but there's enough. Also I think it super important that you trust in your own self. It's okay to get advise from different people about things but it's your child and your decision. You know what's best for your kid. I think a lot of people tend to listen too much to their family or friends because they're intimidated of making decisions that concern their child. There's a fear people feel in having this thought of doing something wrong. We all make mistakes and unless it's life threatening trust in yourself. It's part of growing up and part of what a mother/father has to do. Ask for help or ask questions but in the end trust in yourself. 

Four. Cherish every moment. Whether it's pictures like the one above or keepsakes. Keep everything. If you don't I know you will eventually regret it. I also know that your child will love to see it all when they get older or even show their own kids things from their childhood. My parents never really did this for me. I have some pictures and one VHS of me when I was a toddler and that's about it. I wish now that I had more things to hold on to and show Sebastian in the future. You have to be able to show of those naked pictures when the girlfriends come around ;) Can't wait for that moment!

Five. Every child is different. Duhh! Everyone is different. Always know that your child is going to be their own little person. They will do things, lots of things at their own pace. Don't ever compare your child to another or even second think your child. I've learned a heap from this. In the beginning when Sebastian's speech wasn't developing like all the books and people were saying I started doing this without thinking about it. Asking myself why Sebastian wasn't talking like all the other kids. Now he has been in speech therapy for about five months and he is quite an anomaly. Help them be the best that they can be, that's what's in our job description :)   

Another thing I feel the obligation to bring up is another epidemic I've come across since being a mother. I constantly see parents who are ashamed of truly expressing themselves. Again parenthood is trying and we all have rough days. I love Sebastian with everything I have but he can be a handful. It's okay to have bad days, nothing is ever rosey. Most the time it's poopy. Don't judge. Did I mention your humor becomes being a little side tracked, if you know what I mean... Never be ashamed of the bad days or battles. Every parent is going to have them. 

Well, those are some key things I've learned along with many more. But I seriously don't have all day. I actually need to tend to my kid :)
 By the way, blogging is my release. Talking to the million of you people reading my blog. HA!


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