Thursday, November 05, 2009

Me, Myself & I

Oh.Em.Gee. Only 15 days til New Moon is OUT! Aren't you super excited?? I know I am. Listen, just want to let you know (if you already haven't noticed) I am one of those overly obsessed fans. I have Twilight & New Moon shirts, bracelets & even a cup, not to mention when I lay in bed at night I gaze upon Edward (& Bella but she doesn't matter. HA) before I fall into coma. Weird. I know. But that's just how I roll...and that kind of just rhymed!!
(photo via

Step one of 'operation comfort zone':

Lately I have been thinking more and more about body image. Everyone battles with it, I think. Some more than others. Me being one of them (If you're someone that's close to me you pretty much know what I'm talking about). I really think it all started senior year of high school but I've always over analyzed every part of my body.

I can't really explain it. I know that I definitly don't want to be a rib showing stick figure but for some reason my mind conflicts with that fact. Seriously I feel that most of my life I'm constantly playing tug-of-war with two arguing sides. On one shoulder sits this person telling me 'ewwww look at your thighs' & the other is telling me 'damn, you fine!'.

As a matter of fact, some days I feel on top of the world! I realize really how healthy I am & that 'hey' I  do weigh 125lbs. I realize that I cook homemade most everyday, if not at home then I'm at my inlaws eating home cooked as well & I eat out maybe once a week, if that. Two thumbs up.

Then there are days were I can't help looking down at my thighs and feeling appalled or seeing my love handles in the mirror and asking them 'why do you love me so much'? That's when I feel like I'm commiting a mortal sin if I end up eating a candy bar, or ordering a burger instead of a salad when we do end up eating out, or if my hunger gets the best of me after 9pm. You see, it's a dog eat dog kind of world in my head (hold me)...

However much my image is a regular battle I don't find me comparing myself to other girls. Good, right?? For real, I hate when people do that. And yet if someone were to come up to me and tell me that they feel as if someone else is better than them or prettier than them my reaction would be this-- Shut up & be yourself. NO one is better than you. But on the contrary aren't I doing the same thing, not being myself by not excepting my image...ggahhhh, help me!!

So, what's the antidote. Wish I knew. When I finally except me for me will be beyond a doubt a metamorphosis.

Note: This post is not for the propose of you, the reader, to come commenting me on how 'good' I look or to lecture me on the topic. I'm merley expressing myself & bringing up a issue that I feel people need to recognize more. So, feel free to leave comments about how you feel about this subject & by the lookin' finnnnneee ;)

Today at 3:30pm I was sitting on my couch reading while Sebastian was down for his nap. Around this time is when all the kiddies come home from school. My window happend to be open and I was fortunate in hearing a conversation between two little boys (guessing around age 9). And this is how it went....

Boy 1: I wish the Yankees lost the World Series...

Boy 2: Me too.

Boy 1: Yeah because yesterday my dad was so mad he broke our remote...and now I probably won't get to watch T.V.

I couldn't help but laughing to myself. The little boy sounded so cute!
Oh well. Better luck next year.

It's almost the weekend & I'm really looking forward to it!
Do you have any special plans?

Saturday for us will pretty much be a chill day. Get a few chores done, things like that. But I just might get my nails done in the morning which is always a nice hour to myself.
Sunday we will be heading to Ridley Park, PA to attend some car races that are held at the Boeing . It's about an hour drive there & before the event starts we will be meeting a few friends at a local diner to have some breakfast! Can't wait!

Off to get my little guy all sweeky clean & then later Vampire Diaries + Supernatural!!!

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